Tuesday, December 11, 2007

On the Ninth Day at CPS Arne Duncan gave to me ...

... Nine Lunch Food Uses.

Everybody knows that school cafeteria food is downright nasty. Every day, it's the same old slop that is so unappetizing that most dog owner would never feed it to their best friends. Is it any wonder that kids these days are getting unhealthy and lethargic?

Instead of eating the "food," Chicago Teacher Man suggests the following uses for the lowly (and disgusting) school lunch pizza slice:

1. Doorstop

2. Paperweight

3. Window insulation

4. Home plate

5. Eraser

6. Bookmark

7. Mouse pad

8. Locker freshener

9. Protractor

And, if you get really desperate, round it off with a handful of fries and fancy ketchup, and you've got yourself exactly what hundreds of thousands of our kids eat five days a week:
(With sincere apologies to my school's lunchroom ladies, who do their best with what they're given, and especially Doris, who gives me extra fries even when I don't want them.)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

That slice of pizza has taken on a persona of its own! I can see a whole new spin-off, a sort of "Where's Waldo?" thing or the Orbitz Travel Gnome. Next photo-op, the slice of pizza waiting at a bus stop, or the slice of pizza hanging out at a cafe?

appopt said...

I like it! This could potentially lead to a much-cooler Internet site: Chronicles of Pizza Slice.

mr. christian said...

Hilarius! Why on earth would you actually put a piece of pizza on your board, desk, and inside your textbook, though? You need help!

art attack said...

I think the pizza made its way there on its own Mr. Christian. The photog was just lucky to capture it in its natural habitat.

historygrl said...

This is going to sound really bad... and pathetic for CPS -- but my grandmother worked for CPS from 1962 to 1992. She would sometimes bring home "lunch" for us if we were staying at her house in the evening. I hate to say it, but that pizza is the SAME pizza I remember my grandmother bringing home in 1985. You think they would have changed the recipe, or provider, by now...