Tuesday, November 27, 2007

The Seven Types of Students That Annoy Me


Name: The Text Messager
Notable Quote: "OK, OK, I'll put it away." Also: "What page are we on?"
Learning Intelligence: Interpersonal. These learners see things from others' point of view, as long as it's in proper text shorthand. They are great organizers and manipulators of facts.
Most Likely To: Have good vibrations in front pocket.

Name: The Obsessive Note Taker
Notable Quote: "Can you repeat that?" Also: "How do you spell that?"
Learning Intelligence: Intrapersonal. These learners try to understand the inner feelings, dreams, relationships, and strengths and weaknesses of everyone you mention, as long as they can fit it all in their five-subject, college-ruled notebooks.
Most Likely To: Go to medical school.

Name: The Extra Credit Hog
Notable Quote: "Can I rewrite this B+ essay?" Also: "Will I get extra points if I read?"
Learning Intelligence: Logical/Mathematical. These learners think conceptually in logical and numerical patterns, making connections between their current percentage and the number of points needed for the next grade up. Always curious about the world around them, these learners ask questions until they break you down, and you start thinking that they are conducting experiments on you.
Most Likely To: Make more money than you some day (soon).

Name: The Shout Out
Notable Quote: "Sorry for not raising my hand. But I was right, right?"
Learning Intelligence: Verbal/Linguistic. They excel at listening, speaking, writing, story telling, explaining, teaching, using humor, understanding the syntax and meaning of words, remembering information, and analyzing language usage, often better than their English teacher. They often forget who they are and answer questions asked of other students.
Most Likely To: Know every single answer in class but fail every test.

Name: The Going Problem
Notable Quote: "Do you have the key to the bathroom?"
Learning Intelligence: Bodily/Kinesthetic. These learners express themselves through movement; usually, they move right on out of the classroom. Their skills include dancing, physical coordination, using body language, acting, and miming, all to prove just how badly they need to go to the bathroom.
Most Likely To: Have a bathroom pass ready for you to sign.

Name: The Inside Joker
Notable Quote: "Do you get it?" Also: "What? I didn't say anything."
Learning Intelligence: Visual/Spatial. These learners build puzzles, create metaphors and analogies, manipulate images, and construct elaborate story lines, none of which you will ever understand. They say something and the whole class laughs, leaving you feeling sheepish and old.
Most Likely To: Not think this is funny.

Name: The Ready To Leave With 5 Minutes Left
Notable Quote: "I'm just putting my binder away."
Learning Intelligence: Musical/Rhythmic. These musically inclined learners think in sounds, rhythms, and patterns. They immediately respond to the beat of their own drum. Many of these learners are extremely sensitive to environmental sounds and can often hear the end-of-period bell five minutes before it actually rings.
Most Likely To: Be reading this over your shoulder.


Illustrations stolen from The Boy Least Likely To.

So is this ...


7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I totally KNEW it felt right when I got that tiger tattoo. But on to the topic at hand:

Have you ever had an obsessive note taker who also had a quadruple color highlighter with which they then immediately highlighted their freshly-taken notes?

teacherman said...

I am going to try to borrow one of my student's agenda books and scan it in to show to what extent some kids stay organized. Every day is filled with notes and comments and multiple colors. Trouble is, I have no idea how I can get it away from her for even two minutes.

Anonymous said...

Obsessive Note Taker here. And yes, I totally had that highlighter. My favorite thing about school was a fresh Mead spiral bound notebook...just waiting to be filled in with Art History notes.

Those illustrations look like they also could have been stolen from my kid's art desk.

~Jenska

Anonymous said...

Hey, I'm a tiger too. Is this thing rigged? Is everyone a tiger?

teacherman said...

Good question. Any other tigers out there? Or did anyone get "you are a monster" or "you are a big nose" or anything else?

Dani said...

I had "boy least likely to". So I guess it is not rigged!

Anonymous said...

It's got to be rigged if I'm a tiger!